Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Ode to Bachelorhood

Bachelor: (noun) a man who is not and has never been married
Bachelorhood: (noun) living with 4 other bachelors in a 900 something sqare foot, 2 bedroom apartment.

Oh how I love and hate bachelorhood.
I love that my home is manly - American Gladiators on TV and oven pizzas in the freezer.
I hate that my home is manly - 5 hairy guys in their underwear, smelling and snoring.

When I become a non-bachelor perhaps I'll have some readjusting to do.

The following depicts the real life of a bachelor
Take the tour and be not afraid, bachelorhood is a great phase to be in (and a great one to end)

Let's start in the Kitchen...
Here is the ever-congested sink. There's always traffic in here

The mountain of trash can... Even when you just take it out, it's full again

And the all-important fridge. The attraction to a picture like this is usually what's inside the fridge, but this one's attraction isn't what's inside, it's how we aquired it. Fridge A (a gift from Amy Boyd's family) unexpectantly quit keeping things cold and frozen. Curtis and I found this beauty (Fridge B) on craigstlist and negotiated with the seller/ex-con - I think we ended up paying like $50. Divide that by 5 - and you have a bachelorhood fridge.

Every bachelor-pad has to have some character. Ours definitely does... in fact we have a couple distinct characters that make our house a home....

First, there's dancing dwight. Dwight pirouettes just below the 32" flat screen and always warms our hearts when we feel blue. (Sorry he's blurry, I think I focused on his abdomen section and didn't care to re-take it)
dancing dwight

Then, there's graphic designing Santa. Funny story - Graphic designing Santa used to be our bathroom light until a few days ago (Our original bathroom light flickers and produces seizures). He was promoted to graphic designer when I discovered his light could be removed and we didn't need him to take up the whole counter-top.

Lastly, our 3-bike selection in the bathroom tub brings character to our dwelling. The best part of our 3-bike selection is that they are each a unique and very different type of bike. From left to right, the road bike that will get you up to 45mph+ on a downhill ride, the trial bike that will allow you to hop from one rock to another (don't try to sit down), and the fixed-gear cruiser which enables couriers in New York to deliver mail and lets Curtis ride to CBU without needing brakes.

Moving on, Bachelorhood will require you to consolidate your belongings into one very small space. Here is 90% of my clothes:

Lastly, Bachelorhood usually means that you are studying for school, or just getting out of school and gearing up for school again, or just finishing school and starting to work full time feeling like you are supposed to be going back to school. Here is where I study, blog, read, and think. Picture me blogging here... only replace the Lance Armstrong book with a diminishing Turkey pot pie, and add another Dr. Pepper to the mix.

Thanks for taking the tour, I hope it was well worth your time.

P.S. I'd love to know what bachelorette-hood is like (I assume it's at least a little bit different). Leave some thoughts


treverhoehne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
treverhoehne said...

im gonna miss it....

carsonbelmont said...

That was similar to what bachelorhood looks like at my apartment except everything is worse, three unemptied trashbags in the kitchen, twice as many dishes, all that but nicely done.

Hillary Kell said...

Is that a WPBC mug I see in the congested sink? That really makes me laugh. Nice to see you are still representing in Riverside.